How Not to Sell a Used Car

About a year ago, I began up a 4-month odyssey – buying a first car for my then-17 year old son. We started with some parameters – he wanted a sedan with an automatic transmission and room for his guitar in the trunk. My wife and I wanted a safe, mid-sized car with airbags, ABS and other safety features. So, we were on the same page as my son and I thought the car-buying process would be a piece of cake. It was. It was the car-FINDING process that was a bear!

So I will set forth a few guidelines for those of you that are considering selling your car, based on my recent experiences. Many of these sound like common sense – but believe me, common sense seems to be lacking in many people who have the ‘best car in the world’ to sell!

1) Actually clean the car! An exterior wash is great,

and also maybe shampoo the carpets and seats,

or at least wipe up any stains that could remind a

potential buyer of a fluid from the human body.

2) Clean the trash out of the car. For example, if

you have to move piles of coffee-stained papers

(that end up being the receipts for work done on the

car) from the front seat so that one can actually sit in

it, then you probably should have invested in a box of

Hefty industrial-size bags. Oh, and don’t leave the garbage

bag on the back seat where the empty Doritios bags and

Coke cans ferment. Which brings us to the next guideline….

3) Remove any really bag smelling interior deodorizers. I mean,

the little pine tree hanging from the rearview mirror is okay,

but anything pink or yellow really should not be used in a car

interior. Especially a GUY’S car interior.

4) Be available for people to actually look at your car! Nothing like

making an appointment to look at a car only to ge an e-mail an

hour before (if you even see it) canceling the appointment but

advising that you can view the car ‘anytime before 9:00 am

Monday or after 5:00 pm Thursday’….. The corollary to this is…..

5) When you advertise the car as being in East Buttcheek, it should

actually BE in East Butt cheek and not in Middle Botswana, which is

20 miles away from East Buttcheek!

6) If, for some reason, you re-advertise the car a few days after the

initial ad, the purchase price should generally be consistent or lower.

NOT higher. And it should not continue to increase every time you

advertise the car!

Postscript: The car lasted all of 3 months before my son wrecked it during a Nor’easter….. Fortunately, he was fine. But we had to go buy another used car……